60: (November 2021)
A friend of mine was making wreaths out of shiny, new Christmas balls a few months back to sell for the holidays. They were beautiful and prompted a fun idea: to make a wreath out of the big box of old (dare I say ‘antique’?) Christmas balls that I took from my mother’s house when she moved out of our family home years ago. She was ready to part with them, but I wasn’t.
I hadn’t done a craft project in ages. Finding myself with a free afternoon, I decided to launch into making the wreath. My husband suggested I contact my daughters to ask if they wanted to join me via Zoom for a crafting hour. By some miracle, they were also free, so the three of us chatted on screen while doing our own independent creative projects. The craft visit took place despite the fact that we live in three different countries; one daughter lives in Mexico, the other in Germany, and I’m in the U.S.
Gone are the leisurely days when we could sit side by side making paper snowflakes for our windows, beaded Christmas tree ornaments, or the many other craft projects we did together over the years. Yet there we were, still able to be together – yes, in a different way – but still together. Still able to enjoy each other’s company, creative opinions and ideas, and laughter. What a gift!
Just like the beloved tree ornaments that took on a different form in the shape of a wreath, so the outer form of our relationships continues to morph in new ways. But the love at the core of those relationships is unwavering, enduring, and forever shiny and bright.
40: (November 2001)
Change is hard for me. Maybe it is for everyone. But some people seem to “flow” better; they are able to accept change with greater ease. Some actually seem to embrace change. Not me. I dig my heels into the ground and brace myself—that is, when my head is not buried in the sand.
I have recently been wrenched out of my status quo—the safe, secure box I built for myself—by personal circumstances largely out of my control. It has been one of the most challenging times of my life. Yet deep down, I know it is good.
Deep down, I know this difficult time is a blessing. I know that ignoring problems will not make them go away. I know that one must learn to change and adapt to changes or become petrified, fossilized. Someone pointed out to me that everything in nature is constantly changing, and so must we. Change and grow, or wither and die, figuratively, at least. If we are not flexible in life, if we do not seize opportunities for growth, the part of us resisting this will shrivel.
Yet when something new is presented, even if it is attractive, we may fear it. Certainty is easier, more comfortable. Something new carries with it unknown risk. Perhaps it is just a shift of old habits, a re-shuffling of daily patterns. Sometimes small changes make big differences. Of course, changes can be big, too. Maybe it even means discarding something to make room for the new. And for me, change usually contains within it a generous share of growing pain.
I have been startled by a new-found awareness of certain patterns in my own life that need movement. I had been totally oblivious to them, at least on a conscious level. Then something came along in life to cause a shift in consciousness; in essence, a doorway opened where one had not been before. Now there is a choice to go through it, or shrink in fear of what might be beyond the threshold.
I am going to go through the doorway. I’ll let you know what I find.
60-40:
I have definitely gotten more comfortable with change as the decades have stacked up. It did indeed take a lot of growing pains to get to a place where I take things a little more in stride. It’s still not easy, because it isn’t my nature to be comfortable with change. But I’ve learned not to hold on so tightly to preconceptions of how life is ‘supposed’ to be, or how I imagined it would be.
Practicing gratitude has been key. Gratitude seems to be at the heart of almost every healthy change that I’ve experienced. If I’m grateful for the life I have, it’s hard to have room to think about how it might be otherwise. That’s a practice that’s truly changed me, and that’s a change I can celebrate!
60-40 