Kaboom!

60: (March 2021)

There are times in life when things just sort of go kaboom! I’m not talking about the everyday minor upheavals that are just part of life, but the really big ones that you look back on as pivotal moments in the course of a lifetime. The month of March seems to hold more than its fair share of those.

It was March of last year when the U.S. went into lockdown. The virus that we started hearing about very faintly at first seemed to suddenly be upon us, and our world changed. It was a collective change that all but the oldest among us had likely never experienced. People who have lived through a World War may know what it’s like for the entire world to be living through a shared trauma, but for those of us who have not, this pandemic has certainly been a new and life-defining experience. Change has been forced upon each of us as the world continues to give a collective shudder. And as we continue to slog through it, we know things will never be quite the same again.

The world literally shook ten years ago, although only in Japan, yet its aftershocks were felt in the hearts and minds of many who lived beyond the shores of that country. For me, Japan’s March 11, 2011 earthquake was another life-defining event, containing the most terrifying few moments of my life. My older daughter called around 4 a.m. from a safari she was on in Africa where she was attending college for a semester. She told me – between sobs – that she had just heard that there was a massive earthquake in Japan where my younger daughter was living during her senior year in high school with Rotary International. I felt a bolt of white terror pierce through my heart as I ran to my computer, phone in hand. It took but a few minutes to get onto the Internet, where there was an email from my daughter in Japan saying that she was safe.

Then there was the time 19 years ago, again in March, when my first husband left our marriage and moved out – my own personal earthquake. But lest I dwell on painful upheavals that have happened in March, amazingly wonderful things have happened as well: I gave birth to my older daughter in March. I became a mother. The world certainly turned upside down for me on that day too, only in that instance, it was a jolt of joy. The month of March, full of the unpredictable, was at its finest.

40: (March 2001)

Our barn, which doubled as a garage, fell down a couple of weeks ago, overburdened by the weight of the snow. There is a saying, “Last night my barn burned down and today I can see the sky.” Well, there is definitely more sky, but there is also a whole lot of relatively new barn on the ground.

I cannot claim that the view of the sky was my first thought after the collapse. Yet, this unforeseen event has shown its silver lining. Yes, there has been stress over all the logistical and financial implications of dealing with the mess and figuring out what to do about our car, which was in the barn and is now buried under what used to be the hayloft. But on the whole, I find my predominant feeling to be one of gratitude.

My family went into the barn every day, and I am so thankful that no one was in there at that particular time. Our ducks were in an attached pen, and they managed to survive unscathed. Then there is the gratitude I feel for the neighbors, who showed up in our driveway to offer their help, and the local fire department volunteers, who came in large number to offer their assistance and assure our safety. My next door neighbors quickly outfitted a duck pen in their own barn for our feathered refugees, and the rooftops of the outbuildings attached to the main barn were shoveled off by lots of willing hands. Since that night, many, many people have asked what they can do to help, including the offer of organizing a barn raising. Friends have even offered us the use of vehicles, until we figure out what to do about our damaged car.

So it’s really not so bad to lose the barn; nothing material lasts forever. But the memory of kind words and deeds will. And the impact of each little act of kindness has the potential to ripple out into infinity, for I believe acts of kindness have a domino effect, continuing to reverberate through time.

We will rebuild the barn, and it will no longer be a hidden danger to our children. We will fix or replace the car. And I will remain grateful that none of us were in the barn when the roof fell in, and that we live in a world where people are generous and caring.

60-40:

It is good to remember the silver linings that are inherent in the big shakeups in life. What will we look back on someday when Covid-19 is in the rear view mirror? I’ll think of sourdough bread and our gigantic vegetable garden, learning to use technology in new ways to communicate, and enjoying slower mornings since I’ve been working mostly from home instead of commuting to work. Trivialities.

But what are the big-picture lessons? I don’t know yet. We’re still in the pandemic after all, and I can’t begin to sort it all out. It will be interesting to see where the slivers of silver start showing up, for they seem to always be there, waiting to appear at a time of their own choosing – and most likely not in March!