A Fortune of Friends

60: (May 2024)

Friendship is wonderful at any age, but like a fine wine, it seems to improve with age. There is such an abundance of sweetness and fullness now. I am fortunate to have friends whom I have journeyed through life with for many decades. There is a depth of experience created when you know someone for a long time. You have history together, you’ve shared the ups and downs of life with each other. There is a comfort in that, a feeling of being seen. Good friends can know your faults and still love you, and they can cheer you on when you most need a boost.

Life takes people in many directions over the course of six decades or so. There are some friends you may not have seen in years, or even spoken with very often, yet that connection can still be there, strong and pliable. I saw a dear friend a few months ago whom I hadn’t seen in 22 years, yet I left like I had just visited with her the week before. Time can stand still when hearts have been interwoven.

Relatively new friends at this stage of life are special in a different way. You don’t necessarily expect to make a lot of new friends a half-dozen decades into life. If you’re fortunate, you already have a bunch of people you feel close to, so you’re less likely to proactively search for new connections. In addition, there may be fewer opportunities later in life to make new friends, unlike in earlier life stages when you were in school, may have bumped into other parents at functions or events that your children were involved in, or worked alongside others when you were fully employed. Happening upon new soul connections can therefore be particularly delightful now and take on a bit of extra sparkle.

Then there are those friendships that haven’t lasted through the decades. There may have been a fallout for some reason or another, or in some cases, the friendship may have simply run its course. These friendships might still be treasured, albeit with the knowledge that some relationships are not meant to last forever.

This past week I had the pleasure of visiting with both old and relatively new friends (of 9 years!) at Book Club, kayaking and playing music with others, and welcoming an old college friend of 48 years and her husband from out of state to our home for an overnight visit. I feel so blessed to have friendships that continue to enrich my life in myriad ways. I wouldn’t want to go through life any other way.

40: (May 2004)

As my daughter tunes her harp, she carefully adjusts the turning pins on each string. There is peace in the room as the vibrations the strings make translate into sweet tones in my ear. Ancient sounds. Resonant sounds. Sounds that speak to the entire being, offering beauty, comfort, and the ability to heal.

Our deep selves know what is right, what makes sense, what resonates. Harmony feeds creation, ever woven into the act of creating. How is it possible that a world that contains harps and children also contains brutality that is incomprehensible? Yet even the harp gets out of tune; it, too, can turn ugly if neglected or damaged. The same strings that sound so sweet when plucked can sound painful to the ear when lack of tuning makes them discordant.

When an atrocity happens in the world, sometimes that event can become a lightning rod for all our own negative impulses; hatred and despair often swirl about like a hurricane force that gathers energy as it destroys whatever is in its path. But we are all part of the same human family. Our bodies, our brain functions, our hearts and souls are all basically the same. We can try to deny our commonality, but ultimately, we cannot run from ourselves. We all have the capacity for evil. We all have the same capacity for good. The challenge is to stay oriented toward the light, the good, so that when horrors happen in the world, we do not slip into the shadow as well.

There is always the choice to listen for the strains of the harp, to add to the harmony in the world, not the discord. Giving in to disheartenment or fueling hatred and vengefulness add to the shadow. Contribute to the light. Individually, the offering may seem insignificant, but if enough people strike a tiny matchstick of flame, it may be enough to light the world.

60-40:

What better way to light the world than to help light someone else’s candle? Friendships help to sustain and illuminate the way for each other. There is indeed much strife in the world with more horrors paraded across the world stage than we can fathom. There is hatred and discord today, just as there was 20 years ago—perhaps as there has always been and maybe always will be.

But we can focus on what is good. We can hold each other up, build each other up, and make each other laugh. I’m so grateful to all the people in my life who contribute in positive ways to the dance we call life.